I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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