it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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