ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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