I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
