these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
