I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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