i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
