called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
