You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
