You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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