i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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