6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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