My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
