Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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