I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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