I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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