I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
