babies were throwing up all over the place
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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