it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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