His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize