She said her name was "party"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
