I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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