Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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