I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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