I just cut my nipple shaving
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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