Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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