and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
