after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Swine flu is the new snow day.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
