Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
