is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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