Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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