dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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