I want to walk on stilts...naked
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
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What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
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He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
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