Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence