Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.