no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???