yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
