what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My feet surprised me
Randomize
