I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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