someone get that fucking seahorse.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
