i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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