you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
