This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
