Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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