I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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