I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
