chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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