A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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