Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
