it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
