Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
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that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
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It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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