My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize