im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
