how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize