In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize