no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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