you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad