he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.