Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
