fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
