Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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