Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
and you said cock pushups were impossible
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
