You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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